Monthly Archives: February 2007

Platypus I Stole

If you live long enough, everything happens–P. Levine
sonorous is a good word

what we do each day

give up & turn for home

a handful of change

lacking thought

a train or other set of wheels

speaking like to the public

we expect to find

a stray and quiet voice

a completely invented life

horsecock and mattress stuffing


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Something I didn’t know

Names similar to Tony:

The first two, yes, I get it. The last 2 names, though, is it because there’s a ‘ton’ in Clifton and an ‘on’ in Sheldon? If someone called me Sheldon or Clifton in the street, I’d probably want to punch them or throw ice in their shirts.

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One Reason Why People Don’t Like Pigeons

If your face was a doorway and all of the world could enter and exit through it, would the bird know it didn’t matter so much what its waste was? For instance, this child is at such an angle in relation to the ground, it’s unlikely remaining upright’s an option.

They aim. One picture proves it–like the face on Mars.

What we don’t see is the child sprawled out after another step and a half.

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Found on a Piece of Paper in my Hand

Things Bad For Business:

-toe stepping
-juking & misdirection
-unseemly back hair
-head trauma (while helmets are also a faux pas)

The 12 step program to help recognize the shortcomings of your soul: for those of us lacking something in that special place…

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Continued Weirdness

The train that takes me home is not working on the weekends until March. So I had to take the N to a shuttle bus and back to Sunnyside but while waiting at Union Square there was a man shouting about god (not entirely odd) and his grandmother carrying a gun to church and problems with the deacons and the preacher and guns and the blessings we have just being alive–it made me think of Son House:

Yes, I’m gonna get me religion, I’m gonna join the Baptist Church.
Yes, I’m gonna get me religion, I’m gonna join the Baptist Church.
You know I wanna be a Baptist preacher, just so I won’t have to work.

One deacon jumped up, and he began to grin.
One deacon jumped up, and he began to grin.
You know he said, “One thing, elder. I believe I’ll go back to barrelhousin again.”

One sister jumped up, and she began to shout.
One sister jumped up, and she began to shout.
“You know I’m glad this corn liquor’s goin out.”

But I was drunk so there was no singing on my part. While he was shouting, there was another fellow making birdcalls by the payphone. Someone further down the platform was responding to the calls. I had no idea what in hell was going on. So I wound up on the train car with the God shouter–he had a tall can of Magnum and his right eye was dead and set well below his left. He continually gestured with his gun hand and praised loosely our lives. The gun-toting-grandma-church-going-chatter ceased two stops later when he got off the train but further down the car was a man dressed in a Spiderman suit. He must have been a street magician because he did a few little disappearing kercheif tricks and then proceeded to rifle through a rather large suitcase, pulling out balloons and honking horns and flopping a rubber chicken around. He almost missed his stop looking for whatever it was he couldn’t find in his trick case. He stepped off the train with a pink star balloon on the end of a stick that popped as soon as he got out the door.

These things happen all of the time, right?

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new band name involving animals

there’s really only one that counts: anaconda death grip
an acoustic “ballads only” band with metal sensibility

heart heart pigeon is a close contender for the new band name title.
horsewind fury, not as much.
3 tigers is killing.
winter of the stork
llama propulsion
orphan dog park
jamming the dolphin
armadillo breastplate
breakfast with donkeys


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yesterday the day before

Yesterday I drank a cup of coffee at this conference for conceptual learning–how to implement Concept-Based curriculum and instruction in “the thinking classroom”. On the cover of the handout for the powerpoint presentation there was what seemed to be a hummingduck or some sort of bird hybrid. When I finished the coffee there was what seemed to be a detached cat claw in the bottom of the styrofoam cup. Like one that gets pulled off by the carpet–this is what it looked like except brownish instead of whitish. I showed it to the people at my table and they looked away. At one point after the coffee and before we left there was a video shown. Through technical difficulties one section of the video looped a few times cutting back through a teacher and her classroom saying “The government/work together/verygood/change/the government/work together/very good/change/the government” and then it stopped. I am drinking coffee again now, today.

The day before the telephone rang and I answered it, to be informed that I owed $500 to AT&T by a small voice on the other end of the line. I told that small voice that I had never had AT&T as a service provider and threw some linguine in boiling water. The small voice said “I want some ice cream.” I then asked the small voice who it was and if I could have a dollar, since I didn’t have any ice cream. This conversation continued and went nowhere for about 12 minutes until I stopped talking and the small voice hung up saying “hello…hello.” I then seduced myself considering the date it was.

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